23rd January 2006 - Courage follows Fear

Already it's the end of January, and we're well into 2006 yet I still find myself writing 2005!

I left Australia on 27th September (2005) after seven years living and working there. So I've been in Ireland for three and a half months now and it's gone incredibly fast. It was a real culture shock to come back to Dublin after seven years and spend a fairly substantial time hanging around. Dublin is a lot richer (in $$), though it was always culturally rich. It's bigger too, more populated, more multicultural and really a different place than the comparatively small city that I left in 1998. People have more, they want more and they move faster. That said, the Dubs are still good people and it's been really nice seeing all my family and friends all around the country.

And now it's time for me to move on to a new adventure - a big one! In a few days I'm leaving to go Tanzania to work at the School of St Jude, just outside Arusha (a large town I believe) at the foot of Mount Kilimanjaro and very close to the famous Serengeti Plains, where the wild animals and wilderbeest roam.

The school is a non-fee paying school for the poorest and brightest children in Arusha. Is is supported by sponsors and donors around the world, who either sponsor a child, a classroom, a bus or a teacher. There are also some donors who give cash sums to the school to go toward other costs. I'm not sure what I will be doing there but I'm hoping to do a combination of teaching and marketing/ fundraising. But really I know very little about where I'm going except that it looks like an amazing place, which is giving children an education so that they can break out of the poverty cycle and in the bigger picture, help to change Africa.

It feels a little surreal to be going. I've dreamed of doing this for a long time but I never thought it would happen. It's taken a while to get here. I left my friends, my job, my apartment and everything that is familiar to me in Australia. But I think it will be worth it. There's never a good time to do something like this. I felt like I needed to have more time, more money, more experience, less stress, less committments. But I realised that if I didn't do it now, I might never do it. So, bugger it (a good Aussie expression) I'm off to Tanzania!

I feel really strongly that in the Western world, while we all have had our problems, we were born into a society where food, a roof to live under and education are a given right. Nothing we did or didn't do entitled us to that. We were just lucky that the odds fell in our favour and we were born into a country which offered us that. And yet, on the other side of the world, others just aren't as lucky. It seems pretty unfair to me. But I can't spend my life apologising for being born into a more fortunate country, and it would do not use anyway. So while it's probably a little idealistic, I want to do my bit to change something, to balance it out a little.

And I want to find a sense of appreciation for what I have. It's so easy to get caught up in the haves and have nots, and not appreciate the important things. the more I have, the more I want. And yet when I stand back and look at my life, I see that there's NOTHING I need that I don't have, and truthfully I can't even think of anything (material wise) that I want, that I can't have either. So what does that mean if I have everything I need and most things I want, I should be happy! I am to a degree but like more of my contemporaries, I always want more. And I think right now the only way to really deal with that; to find a senes of appreciation and to find some simplicity in life is to give to someone else.

I suspect that the less people have, the happier and freer they are (though obviously the basics are a necessity). Time will tell...

So this is the start for me. I'm scared because I'm going into such an unknown territory and I really don't know what to expect. I know nobody where I'm going though I believe they'll be all good people and hopefully I'll make friends quickly enough. And no matter how scared I am, I have to remember that this is my choice. Where I'm going to, they don't have many choices. I'll leave the rest to the man upstairs who I know will look after me. As someone wise once said
"courage is fear that has said it's prayers".

Mary xxx